About being a mentor

At the board presentation, I mentioned that I feel a sense of happiness working at CSJ. It may sound a bit exaggerated, yet that's how I truly feel. It is such a blessing to have the chance to meet my students who are vulnerable and not afraid to show me their vulnerability which makes me feel something.

A few weeks ago, I pondered what brings me such happiness when I am around them, and after contemplating it, I found an answer. In the grown-up world, I rarely perceive people's vulnerabilities. Even though we adults have desires to be noticed, heard, cared for, and understood, we barely talk about it; we are reluctant to show it to others as it may make us look weak ( this is just my guess, I don't really know the reason behind it). On the other hand, my students give me a warm feeling every time I spend time with them. They long to be engaged with teachers and other adults they can find in school. Once you attempt to approach them, they will eventually open up and let you in, bit by bit. To me, it reflects their vulnerability and their lack of concern about hiding it.

I remember there's one time I spent time with some NCS girls for a recess session. I met them again on the corridor later that day and they were so happy to see me again as I was a friend they hadn't seen for a while. The fact that spending around 20 minutes with them made them accept me surprises me at so many levels. 

Enthusiasm is something that I was born with. There are times that I try to be enthusiastic around some people but it kind of makes me look like a weirdo. We humans are born to interact and socialize with others. Yet, people are so good at hiding their desires to be accepted and cared for. I have encountered people who shut the door when I tried to show my care toward them. I am sure we all have similar experiences like that. Well, it is the others' choice to make for accepting us to show care to them. I don't really mind being rejected. I am just curious about what makes us adults become like that. I am fascinated by the tendency of people to conceal their feelings, loneliness, and their desire to be loved.

When I told one of my friends about how my students act and my observation on the difference between my students and the general people I meet in my daily life, she showed admiration toward my job and the interactions I have with my students. I think her admiration reflected her feelings about how we adults like concealing our feelings. 

I love being with my students and mentees. They make me become more passionate about my life, people, and this world. Being a mentor makes me feel alive. 

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